Bet on Horses for Fun but if You Win Keep Your Mouth Shut

While we assiduously proclaim that we do not provide race betting advice and we somewhat tongue-in-cheek like to tell both of our readers that we only mention are predictions when they are right, meaning that we seldom have much of anything to say, there is a large and growing cadre of professional tipsters who like to big note themselves at every opportunity.

We have always lived by the motto, “One mouth, two ears,” which we hope is self-explanatory.

We do take great pride, however, in declaring that we know which end of a thoroughbred takes in sustenance and which side produces the excrement, so we are learning.

One day, we might use our new-fangled pocket telephones to record video of ourselves standing in front of a mirror trying to make a phone call, but for now, that advanced skill has eluded us.

So, if you want to know which horse is going to win the Stradbroke Handicap, the Queensland Derby or the J J Adkins in June at Doomben, you are in the wrong place.

We suggest you visit the websites of any of Australia’s many fine online bookmaking agencies armed with this knowledge: 1. The bookies are in the business for profit, and 2. In thoroughbred flats racing, the favourite salutes about 35 percent of the time. A one-in-three chance is not awful, but remember, in key races such as those mentioned above, the 35 percent will drop as the number of horses in the field increases.

In our limited experience, the favourite should instantly be lengthened as soon as we plonk down our bet, because our backing is the relative equivalent of a kiss of death.

If it is certainty you seek, here is our contribution: Winx will remain unbeaten until she loses or is retired. Our cursory serach did not turn up that market, however, so we will leave you with one final admonition.

If the tipsters offering paid subscriptions knew as much as they like to credit themselves with knowing, why would they offer to sell you the information?

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